If you have decided to pop the question, then how to choose an engagement ring may be one of your most pressing thoughts at the moment. Researching engagement rings and narrowing down your search may seem overwhelming, but there are a few steps you can take to simplify the process. 

If you are purchasing a ring as a surprise, how do you go about choosing a ring for someone else? You could ask your partner for input, but if you want to pop the question and the ring to be a complete surprise, here are some tips to help you choose wisely. 

Your Favorite Get A Feel For Your Partner’s Style

Consider your partner’s personal style when looking at rings. One good way to do this is to take note of their existing jewelry and choose a piece made in a similar style. If he or she doesn’t wear much jewelry, you may need to get a little creative. 

Think about their clothes – are they more modern and trendy or more classically elegant? Is their clothing tailored and simple, or boho and layered? Are colors a big part of their identity or do they don a neutral palette? 

Geometrics versus organic and curvilinear can be a good place to pull from. Interestingly, a vintage engagement ring may be the perfect choice for any preference.  Vintage rings have grown in popularity in recent years among people of all ages and with a variety of personal styles. If you’re still unsure, you might ask family and friends for guidance. 


It sounds simple but don’t forget to think about the scale of the ring. Are they tall, small framed, petite or compact in build? Are their hands larger, longer and leaner or more average? Make sure to choose a ring that won't overwhelm or conversely, won’t be lost when worn.

Choose The Stone

Then it comes to choosing the stone for your engagement ring, you essentially have three options: a diamond engagement ring, a ring set with colored gemstones or none at all of plain precious metal. If your partner tends toward the traditional, focus your search on diamonds. Diamonds have been the go-to engagement ring stone since the Renaissance, and are enormously popular, not just for tradition’s sake but also because they never look dated or out of style. 

Of course, a diamond is not your only option. If your partner has a more unique style and prefers the unexpected, you might consider a colored gemstone instead. Break away from tradition with your partner’s birthstone or any colored stone you think they’ll like, such as garnet, aquamarine, emerald, or sapphire engagement rings

Cut and Style

The cut refers to the shape of the gemstone and may be any number of shapes including round, oval, pear, marquise, cushion or heart. You can’t go wrong with a round cut for someone who’s more traditional. Cushion and emerald cuts are popular in vintage jewelry designs and add lots of sparkle. When it comes to the style of the ring, you may want a classic solitaire, a halo ring with a central stone surrounded by smaller stones, a vintage look with intricate and ornate detailing, or something else. 

To decide which type of metal to choose, take a peek at the jewelry your partner wears most of the time – is it mostly white or yellow gold? Perhaps platinum is their thing. Choose a ring that will fit in. 

Ring Size

Choosing the right finger size may be the most challenging piece of the puzzle if you want to keep your intentions a secret until the proposal. Fortunately, there are a few ways to find out what size your future spouse wears without spoiling the surprise. 

First of all, if your partner wears other rings, you can measure one of those. Make sure it is a ring from the exact same finger and hand. If they don’t usually wear rings, you might have to get a little more creative – try enlisting a friend of theirs to get them to browse a jewelry store or try on a ring for fun. Here are a few more tips to help

A Decision Together

If you are choosing a ring together with your partner, you may experience the “I want but they want” scenario. You love one engagement ring style or a specific ring yet they might gravitate toward another. This is perfect practice for your future life together and you guessed it, compromise is the word of the day. Of course you want them to adore the ring, and yes, they are wearing it every day for the rest of their life.

But it is perfectly natural that you also wish to feel an emotional connection to the ring and are proud of your choice. You also might be paying for it, which adds even more dimension to the final outcome. 

Try to find a middle ground in what you both want and desire in a ring. Talk out what both of you do and don’t care for and find a few common points to build upon. Maybe you both love detail, but expressed in different ways. If a colored gemstone is key for one of you and diamonds only for another, see if a central diamond with accent colored stones will work. You might be pleasantly surprised that when "the" ring presents itself, you both know it. 

Remember that the ring is a gift, and your partner is the one who will be wearing it day after day – forever.